A Broadsman

Storm surges & layup

Our 2013 ‘season’, if you can call it that came to a dramatic conclusion in that December.

On the evening of 5th December, with shades of the 1953 floods, the weather turned nasty. Strong winds, high tides, & a large volume of rain water in the rivers could mean only one thing. We were in for a trying time – and it’d be bloody damp.

If you’re interested – you can read here about the metrological conditions which caused the surge; https://www.metoffice.gov.uk/binaries/content/assets/metofficegovuk/pdf/weather/learn-about/uk-past-events/interesting/2013/winter-storms-december-2013-to-january-2014—met-office.pdf

To give you a clue of why this storm surge was significant, like many other river cruiser owners, my year is dictated by the various events/fixtures which we attend. Now, for reasons to numerous to mention – my sailing club runs a race in December, where you race for a Christmas Turkey. Something which is more fun than it sounds. (although as I write this, I’m less than a fortnight away from the Turkey Race, and it’s 3 degrees outside / pouring with rain… I do wonder about my choices sometime!)

Anyway, 2013. Through the week, with the weather looking so atrocious – with each updated forecast, the commitee of the club devised alternative plans. Ultimately though we agreed (reluctantly) that we’d be bringing at least 3 boats to race – no matter what the weather. (gulp).

So on the Friday afternoon, I’d packed a bag – and sat at my desk looking at the frozen rain thundering against the office window. Yet again I could see an ‘interesting’ time ahead. By 6pm – it was pitch black, and the river was already 2ft higher than it ought to be. Oh & it was blowing a genuine f8 by this time. Deepest joy.

Slowly, we crept down the road to our mooring – at times having an old Land Rover is a real bonus! The water sloshed around inside, meaning we were now wading in at least 3ft of water. In driving rain, we carefully found the edge of the jetty, untied our mooring lines & crept out into the main river.

The water was HIGH all over the river network.

River, what river? Thank goodness for a roof-mounted search light. We motored gingerly up the Yare, all our usual landmarks gone. You couldn’t see the edges, there was no real boundary between land & water – all we could do was follow our noses & try not to get frostbite. Sadly, as our searchlight featured a genuinely antique, battery-flattening bulb – all we could do was use it sparingly when we thought we’d hit something.

Eventually, ‘Corsair’ reached Surlingham Ferry – we had to find the edge of the moorings using the quant as a depth sounder (falling in would have been a bad idea!) – and again, we tied up on underwater mooring posts, stuck our quant in to stop her over-riding the bank, and waded to the pub.

It was closed!! Thankfully we managed to persuade S the landlady we were thirsty & hungry – and very kindly she openedup – providing us with warming food & beer. I’d never seen the river this high – it was upto the front door!

Typically, being in a warm pub helps change your perspective on any situation, I can’t say I’d forgotten the freezing rain or the savage gusts. Ultimately though the boat was safe, as was I… and we’d see what tomorrow would bring.

Elsewhere – the high water levels had played havoc with the yachts who’d wanted to attend. Bridges were un-navigable, as were large sections of road. We counted our blessings & went sailing for a short, but cold race.

Sadly – ‘Corsair’ suffered a gear failure whilst sailing – another sign of her increasing issues / lack of care I was able to show.

Being as objective as I can, every year I lay up the boat. Each season starts/finishes with the same rituals, it’s methodical. You de-rig, sails are folded, lofts are crammed with gear & eventually the vessel is tucked up under her cover & you get some respite for a few weekends at least…

In 2013 however, it all had a knell of finality about it. I’d gained a whalloping overdraft – ‘Corsair’ was sailed to her winter storage on a blowly, cold day (December 28th) – and I was genuinely sad. I didn’t see a way I could commission her for the following year. With that over-arching thought, once de-rigged & left ready for the crane, I slammed the L/R door & drove home.

It was 4 years before she sailed again.

2013 – a modest season.

I wasn’t to know it at the beginning of the season, this was the year where things became more challenging, and I damn-near lost the boat. Looking back, I hadn’t realised it was coming (or failed to recognise it) – and it was tougher than I was willing to acknowledge at the time.

Despite many grumbles, numerous letters, indignant P.C. members & a planning visit where again, we were told ‘no, very naughty, NEVER AGAIN, etc, etc’. ‘Corsair’ & her pals wintered ashore, adj. to that friendly pub…

By spring though, we were resigned that we’d pushed our luck as far as it’d go, we dispersed to our moorings in the spring, beaten by the pen-pushers of this world. Still, it was good whilst it lasted, put primer on the boat, have a pint, wait for primer to dry, have another pint… etc.

Right at the beginning of the season, I was made redundant. Not integral to the history of ‘Corsair’, but useful context for justifying alot of what follows this year. Essentially, our season was then savagely curtailed, and even the most basic task was beyond my pocket. Taking to working part-time, I tried my hand at repairing boats, something which I’d become semi-proficient at over the past 5 years. One of my first tasks was to sand & re-varnish a large (32ft) Broads yacht.

Starting work – I also worked on the yacht behind for a period of time.

It’ll be a post for another time, but Somerleyton is a beautiful place to spend time in, with the ghosts of industry nestled around the boatyard & village. You’ll find the remains of brick kilns, sand pits & if you walk far enough, you’ll find out this was the birthplace of the modern hovercraft (yes, really).

The brick works were VERY established, most of London Liverpool Street station is made from Somerleyton, and at the top of the path to the boatyard, you’ll see 22 terraced cottages, all built from Somerleyton reds (originally workers accomodation).

‘Corsair’ found herself rather ignominiously tucked on her mooring at Brundall, only being used for the occasional day sail for much of the season. Looking back, I suspect this was to do with the fact I’d deferred on paying my Broads toll (!) something I can’t recommend at all, genuinely it was only because I was skint.

It’s quite embarassing to admit now, one of my first jobs on ‘Corsair’ after she was launched, was to refurbish her mast. This was being used not only as a spar, but also a ridge-pole for the winter cover. And if I’m honest there was barely a scrap of varnish left on it! Truth be told, it’d suffered (and would cause me many issues later), at the time I recall buying some Cuprinol wood-stain (B&Q’s finest!) – and using this liberally I managed to conceal alot of the stained wood, enough to make it look deceivingly servicable.

Although I did manage a short cruise in August, to attend a job interview, the 2013 season was mostly forgettable. We simply didn’t use ‘Corsair’, although in June, we did manage to host a water-borne treasure hunt for the sailing club – which was hilarious! Imagine a dozen boats, all buzzing up/down the river for an afternoon trying to find all the clues & solve all the puzzles. Great fun!

Our cruise north, took us to West Somerton – then up the Bure to Wroxham. The central focus of the ‘holiday’ being that I had a job interview with a local charity. In retrospect, I’m not necessarily sure it was the best move to bring a (if I’m kind) ‘shabby chic’ Broads yacht to an interview where your principle responsibility is to restore/preserve historic vessels! Heyho, you live & learn.

Highlights from our cruise included seeing our eldest sister ‘Clipper 1’ – who had returned to hire (she’s still available for hire, from Martham Boats https://www.marthamboats.com/hire/yachts/24-clipper)

It’s always interesting to see ‘Corsair’ next to one of her sisters, you can clearly see the differences in construction. I would never say ‘Corsair’ is boxy… but without her bowsprit & larger rig, I definitely think the other ‘Clipper’s’ were more sleek. Our visit to Salhouse broad did allow me to take a break, sit back & admire ‘Corsair’ on her mudweight. Despite what I’ve written above, she was my favourite Broads yacht.

We found a neat ‘work around’ for the mooring fees at Salhouse – at that time there wasn’t a fee to mudweight, so we put ‘Corsair’ as close as we could to the beach & walked ashore! Also, we noted that when at Ranworth, there was a newly installed sign, declaring ‘NO CAMPING’ … Fame for our misdemeanours last year. (even now, I still smile when I see that sign).

Returning from our cruise, it was hard not to be disheartened at being unsuccessful at interview. The reality was, I was running out of time & money – and would ultimately need to get a ‘proper job’, working on boats kept me happy, but certainly didn’t pay my rent. It certainly didn’t allow me to look after the boat properly.

Our 2023 season may not have been our best, but it certainly ended in the most memorable way! But that’s for next time…

2012/2013 – downhill.

The remainder of the 2012 season passed without too many notable incidents, we manage a short cruise to Geldeston in the company of 2 other registered RCC yachts, but increasingly signs were apparent that ‘Corsair’ was showing her age, and I was showing my naivety / lack of funds to manage & maintain her properly.

What was fantastic though, was sailing in a fleet of 3 such different yachts. We represented the oldest, pre-war design – & were accompanied by 2 RCC’s which showed how the concept had been modernised. S/N 275 ‘Breeze’ was a Derby-built boat, with an incredibly impressive racing career to her name, she’s owned by the family of a lifelong friend, and as photographed below – she’s come a long way from the hirefleet.

Her mainsail is from an international star one-design, giving her a powerful performance. Upwind in heavy-weather especially, she just takes off, and points, and points… A far cry from our own performance, sadly.

Whilst enjoyable, the predominant memory of the 2012 cruise is that as we were tacking into Beccles in light airs, our 1951 boom decided to snap directly above the mainsheet blocks. This swiftly became a fairly stark lesson in how the mainsail on a Broads yacht can (and will) become uncontrollable – and how quickly a jib that’s sheeted in can push you into the bank, HARD.

Without the funds to do anything else, I recall the frustration & resignation of the hot/dusty walk upto Jewsons in Beccles, where some cheap laths, a fence post & some galvanised grip-fast nails were purchased. A fairly brutal repair then followed – with my hammering the fence post inside the two broken segments of boom, and then applying the laths/grip-fast nails to stop everything sliding apart again. Ugly, yes. Cheap, yes. Long-lasting, no. Satisfying? Definitely not!!

At the time, although I knew I wasn’t keeping ‘Corsair’ as I should have, I also knew how powerless I was to do anything else. I just had to pray we’d somehow keep going. Which, without sounding like a complete idiot, is extremely hard, and simultaneously incredibly stupid. Wooden boats require an extremely high standard of maintenance, you cannot just ‘hope’ – and in my heart of hearts, I knew I was failing her.

There followed a litany of events for the remainder of the season which followed in the same vein, that torrential downpour at Breydon regatta, highlighting all the deck leaks / windows needing to be rebuilt, and ultimately the collision at our mooring which further broke our awning spreaders, tore the awning beyond repair & snapped our boom crutches (late August). All in all, it was a pretty horrid experience, spread out against the back-drop of knowing I needed to do more, if I was to keep ‘Corsair’ safe.

Some bastard simply motored off from here, having caused the damage.

I may have only been 5 years into owning her, but already I found she was a significant part of my life, something which echoed the feedback from previously owners I’d spoken with, they all fondly remembered her & talked at length about how she was centre to many fond memories & friendships for them. However hard it may be, I was determined to keep hold of her, and in truth – I knew I needed her.

By December – we’d taken the unusual step of de-rigging ‘Corsair’ & having her ready to be craned out. Despite having endured a litany of criticism from the red-tape brigade last year, it appeared we’d be able to use the riverside pub as a winter storage / impromptu boatyard again. With that in mind, ‘Corsair’ suffered the ignominy of being towed upstream, derigged & deposited on the moorings the night before the Turkey Race.

‘Corsair’ – dumped on the moorings as I sail past in a borrowed boat.

The race itself proved to be worth of the pages of J.D. Sleightholme… Firstly I stayed aboard a strange boat, in December, with no knowledge of how to work the heating (mistake no. 1) – then, I realised I couldn’t work the cooker… (mistake no. 2) – which lead to me being sub par on the morning of the race itself! I was half bloody frozen to death, starving hungry & for some idiotic reason I’d volunteered to run the race, including laying the course.

Unfolding a sail-cover & awning is no fun in the winter, when its wet you get soaked. What’s even less fun, is karete chopping the folds in, because the bugger is complete frozen solid! Ooopf. My finger’s turned blue, then white & numb. In fact every rope was frozen solid. I’d been promised that rigging a bermudian yacht was mere child’s play, it’d only take seconds… Pah!

We set off to lay the course, and naturally the cock up fairy wasn’t done with us yet. Thundering upstream (well, 6mph with a diesel clattering away) there was a sudden BANG… And the engine stopped. Bollocks. Wuuuuhhh, wuh, whuh wuhhhhhh groaned the starter, nothing, nada, zilch.

BOLLOCKS. I’d only dropped the lower mark, and there was no club boat to help, no vhf & no mobile signal. BOLLOCKS. Return to basic principles… ALWAYS keep the mainsail ready to hoist, tied down in crutches is no bloody good, same goes for the jib. Have it ready to unfurl. Somehow we managed to not hit anything, and I cut (always have a knife) some sail ties, BUT we got the main up & kept some way on… Now. A breather.

Oh no, oh NO! Can’t have that, a gust came down & with a mocking thump/gurgle – the weight & chain for the racing mark (stowed on the foredeck) rattled down to the lee-side & overboard. Oh bollocking bollocks.

Now, I want to you imagine that you’re walking briskly, and without warning I grab your left hand, refusing to let go, whilst you keep walking… that’s the sort of inertia we had, expect it was a 3 ton 28ft ex-hire boat fandango. We lunged to port, we involuntarily gybed, luffed, everything shook/banged like hell, we payed off, we gybed…., we swore, we tangled the ‘effin buoy it’s tackle under the keel, into the jib sheets & generally everyfuckingwhere…

Eventually, some order restored, I threw that buoy into the river with a rage normally associated with a family game of Monopoly.

It really wasn’t our year no matter whose boat we were on! We did manage to extricate ourselves, and get back to start the race on time. Eventually we finished a full 90 minutes behind everyone else (the wind dropped, and with no engine to use, there wasn’t any point in retiring, so forced to sail the course) – and definitely had developed mild hyperthermia as a result of rescuing that bloody buoy.

Post fandango – making our slow, slow way home…

Heyho.

2012 season; – we go to the seaside

The remainder of 2011 passed without much incident, although ‘Corsair’ did over-winter somewhere quite unusual…. Inside a pub carpark! Yes, really. A group of us formed a collective where a good idea sadly failed to flourish. We experimented to see if you could use spare land to keep boats on, and subsequently boost the takings in the pub over the quiet months.

Sadly, as ever with good ideas – the red tape brigade came marching in VERY quickly, and after 1 winter, we learnt it wasn’t to be repeated, we were all very naughty & that whoever thought of keeping boats next to a river anyway. Tsk, tsk & go sit in corner…

Some things do stand out that winter – firstly the cold. Jeepers Creepers it was a hard winter – planks were cut, hollowed & fitted, often in sub-zero temperatures & at least one day saw me roving up in the snow! Not ideal, but it got us ashore & ready for the season ahead.

For 2012, we had definitely found our ‘rhythm’ – we partook in the YSC May Day cruise, which included a tricksy little tack up through the trees from Brundall Gardens to Bramerton Common… where upon we (as a fleet) occupied the pub moorings, must to the consternation of a few Gin Palaces – unable to stomach the short walk from the common itself. Poor darlings.

‘Corsair’ & her pals at Bramerton… prior to GP upset.

Strange what sticks in your mind, my only defining memory of that weekend is that tricky tacking, and hearing (upon reaching Bramerton) that I’d made “not too bad a job of that” from another skipper on a much lighter, faster boat. Praise indeed!

Equally, we completed the Ray Perryman without a hitch, in uncharacteristic sunshine. Obviously the atrocious weather from the early May BH had been shamed into a ‘U’ turn! I didn’t know it, but we were establishing a pattern for the events which suited us, and eventually became our ‘season’.

The RP memorial race is run with a ‘gate’ start (you can start between 10-10:45am for example & you are timed from the moment you cross the line, rather than when the gate / start signal is made). This adds a little twist to your tactics… you juggle the vagaries of when the swing bridge will let you through to the start line – and also make a judgement of how much favourable tide you’ll need. My personal preference is always to get through (less rude letters to B.R.) then get going to maximise the flood tide helping you to Beccles.

This year, the photographic gods were also kind to us, if you don’t know our eventual position (7th)… you’ll see us momentarily leading the fleet! I think also, to keep the excitement going, at the post-race curry I ended up accidently eating some peanuts, and mid-way through allergic reaction, I looked up to see a close-friend sharpening a knife/dismantling a biro (for the emergency tractotomy – thankfully not needed!).

For those Ransome fans – Beccles is always a delight to visit, with the new bridge it’s hard to imagine the scene in AR’s day, but the thought of a Thames barge weaving it’s way up the Waveney, through the same trees as us always makes me wonder, just how did they do it? I know in the pool of London, they’d employ ‘hufflers’ to move them along. I suspect ‘Come Along’ had a say in moving them.

But yes, sorry. Without question the highlight of the 2012 season was our foray to the seaside. To my knowledge ‘Corsair’ had never been salt-side of Mutford Lock ever, and it seemed too good an opportunity to miss. We left ‘Corsair’ safely tucked up at Geldeston for the week before, and ventured carefully down to Mutford Lock…

Succinctly – what a BRILLIANT weekend. Sadly unlikely to ever be repeated, with the building of the 3rd crossing in Lowestoft harbour – our racing area has been cut in half. Heyho. Going to the seaside though is something I highly recommend for any Broads yacht. Go, dress overall (the boat!), make sandcastles, play mini-golf & generally have a break from all that nasty yachting (!)

‘Corsair’ spent the 1st night in the basin, learning that a southerly inexplicably causes alot of ‘surging’ / banging & crashing for moored boats. Particularly when you’re the 4th boat inboard of a raft up of many…

Poor sleep aside, going out into the outer harbour and pitching/diving up around in the swell (rather than join the log jam in the bridge channel) proved excellent fun. Our borrowed 2hp outboard screamed like an egg-whisk, we dunked our bowsprit into waves, rocked/rolled, felt abit scared but generally very courageous. ‘Corsair’ might be little, but at times she’s got a great big heart. We got to the point where the RNSYC rescue boats discretely came to ask if we were okay (!).

The racing itself was definitely memorable, the wind got GUSTY, the rains came & those bloody grain silo things caused huge wind shadows… But it was brilliant fun. All those Broads yachts, terrorising the harbour. There were many broaches, our bilge pump rattled throughout each time we got laid onto our beam ends & the waterproofs proved themselves not waterproof (it’s always the way!)

As an aside, if you want to see true fear… Gather together a load of old Broads sailors, all of whom start on a 10, 5, GO system. Then casually announce you’re going to use 5, 4, 1, GO. The air became thick with panic & mutterings of ‘how do you reset this stopwatch?!”

Eventually, the rain/cold got to us, and we rigged the 2hp egg-whisk before then dipping the mast & scuttling back to the safety of the yacht basin. Despite it now being a f7, with torrential rain, we were hooked!

The rest of the weekend followed similar lines, lots of laughter, careening around in a small boat where maybe we shouldn’tve. All too soon, the weather cleared & we returned to the Broads, towing a friends yacht – who’d sadly been rushed to A&E. The only comparison it gave me was how rinky-dinky ‘Corsair’ is, when you compare her to even moderately larger Broads yachts…

So yes, ‘Corsair’ & the day we didn’t go to sea, but very nearly…

2011 cruise, the final day(s)

Strangely, (never repeated) – on this cruise, Mr B & myself left ‘Corsair’ in the hands of a 3rd party for the day, and galloped over to Cambridge to attend an engagement party of a dear friend. Later this turned into a commitment for a stag do… afloat on the Norfolk Broads…. But that’s another story.

The cruise itself finished with somewhat of a fizzle… both ‘F’ & ‘Polly’ left the day we were in Cambridge… The next day ‘Corsair’ was motored, non-stop from Ludham to Brundall, depositing Nina & Billy at Acle bridge, to retrieve their car, which took some doing, it was covered with ‘authorities aware’ stickers (rude!)

To knock some of that distance off, on our return ‘Corsair’ made a night-time run down the Ant, having spent all of the day partying in Cambridge, which proved VERY chilly. I thought this was summer!

The highlight of the week was the miraculous rescue of the ship’s radio – it had been knocked into Ranworth dyke & presumed M.I.A. A full hour later, Simon retrieved it having used a fisherman’s keep net as a grapple… and more amazingly he restored it to life!!

The low-light of course was our brush with ‘the law’… although I’m willing to confess that it wasn’t the first (or the last) that would come to ‘Corsair’ & me.

After a 7 hour full-chat blast to Brundall, we retired home for a well-earnt sleep.

Night.

2011 Cruise – Days 7 & 8

So. Waking up & discussing our criminality, we decided the best option was to reef down & take a ‘brisk’ SW tack out of the Thurne.

In retrospect, catching ‘Polly’ in Kendal dyke wasn’t out best plan, so with much spilling of wind we waited until Simon kindly sailed into the reeds allowing us a ‘gap’ to get past. Much to their annoyance, we also then stormed past a hire boat, tailgated the local bin lorry (it’s a barge running up/down Potter) & scattered several canoeists like startled ducks before we moored at the bridge.

The usual drama then unfolded, as we were navigating the old bridge, a day boat & a motor launch caused us to execute a rapid slalom!

Leaving Potter with a double reefed mainsail proved a sensible decision, as before the arrival of yet another rain shower – some strong gusts forced us into rigging the backstays & praying… once at Cold Harbour however we eased onto a broad reach that lasted until Acle.

Thankfully, conditions changed, and we set full sail from Acle bridge for the gentle run upriver to South Walsham dyke. Once there, we located the elusive ‘Polly’ & moored. A curry & cider set the spell for the rest of the evening… Except I’d only bloody bought poppadum’s which required DEEP-FRYING.

If you want to learn fear, true fear. Fill a large frying pan with an inch of oil. Bring it to red-hot temperature on a roaring Primus & then try not to get burnt to hell & back whilst you cook poppadum’s on it… (oh & be inside a wooden boat for good measure)… Eff me.

Later, a world-record was set – with 7 people all getting into ‘Polly’ for a drink… we estimated the freeboard was 2inches.

Night.

Day 8

It rained…. A lot. Again. ‘E’ was forced to vacate her bunk in the middle of the night as a waterfall had appeared. Relations were ‘restrained’ later than morning over breakfast…

We identified full cloud cover, and with no obvious respite from the weather we swiftly decided to motor upriver to Ludham Bridge, seeking solace in the Dog Inn PH.

Having ‘forgotten’ my waterproofs, I retired into the cabin to sit things out. Once through Ludham Bridge, conditions had deteriorated into a bleak, gusty, viscious SE gale. Obviously we reefed, hoisted sail & ‘took off’… (!)

Take off seemed appropriate, never before has a faster passage been recorded for the Ant. Surging upstream like a water-borne helter-skelter, we surfed along, ‘Corsair’ giving her best death roll into the bargain. The main was eased until the knot was in my hand (on all points of sail!!), the crew sat on the weather deck & the boom lunged skywards threatening a chinese gybe at any moment.

Eff me. We overtook, we undertook, and sometimes we plain bullied out way past boats and tried not to think what’d happen if the mast broke. At How Hill we observed a ‘twister’ running down the marsh – which mercifully avoided us.

The single photo of our down-wind melee – this is a backstay tackle.

However, we practiced aplomb (or blind fear) – within the hour, we had moored at Stalham staithe.

Strangely, our arrival coincided with opening time at ‘The Swan’, allowing us to calm our nerves with a leisurely lunch. Sometime later, we slunk back to ‘Corsair’ where unfortunately ‘L’ had had to return to work. The remainder of us motored to Sutton Staithe in a brief spell of sunshine. (it wasn’t to last).

Within minutes of mooring, we dodged YET ANOTHER deluge of rain & fled into the Sutton Staithe hotel, which accomodated us for the most random game of darts… Alas it was only spoiled by the overly creative scoring that ‘Nina’ displayed (for her score only!)

Returning to the boats, we found a welcome late-visitor in the form of ‘Polly’ – Hooray! much, much alcohol was then consumed to celebrate this, and we fell into a stupor, under the steady monotone of rain on canvas…

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 6

Light rain (seeing a pattern here?) removed the chance of a decent view at the top of the capanile , although this didn’t deter us all from climbing the stairs to ‘admire’ the dank, grey landscape (24th August!).

An old hand had joined us, & was found to remark that somehow I always managed to get people on holiday, in the rain. (the clever b&^%ard). After breaking down the tents, we swiftly tidied up after ourselves & thought no more of it, as we set off in the blazing sun heading back toward St Benet’s.

(how wrong we were!)

Just upriver from Horning Hall, we were lured into thinking that 2 fenders idly floating by were discarded… RIVER TREASURE! We wasted no time, performed an all-standing gybe & lurched into the reeds gleefully.

Firstly, they were balloons. Secondly, we’d also gone hard aground. (Bugger). Thankfully both ‘Polly’ & ‘F’ were very supportive.

By 2pm, we were safely moored in Potter Heigham alongside the famous H.W yacht ‘Ladybird’, and were preparing to navigate through the bridges, without being attacked by any hire craft (!)

HW Ladybird – c.1930’s looking magnificent.

‘Ladybird’ is quite special, being built as a double-ended racing yacht, and subsequently then being modified & put into hire… (!) She was ‘transformed’ into this;

What followed, was absolute champagne sailing, we headed up the Thurne & onto Horsey Mere, where the sea-breeze kicked in, and we all got to charge around the Mere just messing about in boats.

With thoughts of the evening’s BBQ, we motored back out of Meadow Dyke, navigation being punctuated by;

Tea (good)
Jeremy the dog walking off the stern of ‘Polly’ (less good)

Sadly, we’d managed to burn the only non-burning disposable BBQ in the world, so we set about to get quite pissed… However the day was not over!

9.30pm… it’s pitch black, and we’re quietly winding down… A motor boat is heard, heading up Heigham Sounds towards us… with a searchlight scanning the moorings (!)

A VERY surreal experience followed… We were questioned (at length) by 2 river inspectors who refused to show ID, or approach us. It would appear that morning at Ranworth our tents were reported (by some morally righteous twerp) – which had precipitated a largescale ‘boat hunt’ with every BA launch mobilised for several hours, just to pursue us!

Despite the ridiculous nature of being told that we shouldn’t have done what we’d done quietly, without damage – we reached a stalemate & had a nightcap to digest it all…

The outlaws hide-out… White Slea Lodge moorings.

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 5

Rain. Lots of it. A brief, but dense shower woke us all & peppered us throughout breakfast. There was a fierce competition as to how many people could fit inside ‘Corsair’, under cover. Eventually we realised it was futile, broke camp & set off to Wroxham.

This week, it seemed every S.o.B & his wife was out on the river – it was mayhem. As we approached Wroxham bridge, we were VERY glad to have stopped & left ‘F’ on a mudweight on Salhouse Broad.

As a side-note, ‘Corsair’ has an ingenious folding bracket which holds the outboard motor. Sadly this also means that it folds itself when you go hard astern… so in confined manoeuvres we go VERY slowly & hope nothing pulls out in front of us.

Teaching the tourists some anglo-saxon – we made a swift stern mooring, and were safely tucked up outside the coffee shop (oh no, of all the spots to pick!)

Hot showers suitably revived us, and special attire (lord knows what that means – Ed.) was donned in advance of ‘PollyWog’ joining us.

One brief & quite shouty evasive manoeuvre later, both ‘Corsair’ & ‘PollyWog’ escaped un-scathed despite the best efforts of ‘Queen of the Broads’ (!)

On the way to Horning – ‘F’ was recovered, whilst ‘Corsair’ went on, and moored outside the sailing club again – to allow us to raise sail, before leisurely heading to Ranworth. Almost immediately the wind fell to a flat calm. (bugger).

30 mins of quanting later, we’re huffing/puffing past the Ferry Inn, when Billy (in search of baccy) discovers he’s left his jacket at Horning Sailing Club. (Groan!).

Ten minutes of full-chat outboard later, we’re back at the sailing club, thankfully someone has kept the jacket safe having spotted it. (phew!) We’d left ‘Polly’ & ‘F’ to complete their slow drift to Malthouse Broad. We, on the grounds of likely mutiny chose to motor…

As the evening drew in, with a choc-a-block staithe, we simply waited until the ferry stopped running before putting all 3 craft in the dayboat dyke. (simple!), before scarpering to the Maltsters.

Mostly uneventful, we went to bed, gratified by the sound of a tourist falling in…

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 4

With sun pouring in through the cabin windows (expertly cleaned by Nina & Billy) at 4:30am, E & myself made a resolve to prepare some curtains before tomorrow…

Another stunning morning! Brilliant sunshine & a fair, but light breeze we slipped down the Broad, with ‘Corsair’ chuckling to herself as Nina helmed.

Several photographs later, we exited the Broad & headed up the upper Thurne toward Somerton to inspect Martham ferry, whilst ‘F’ caught us up.

Shortly after passing ‘Clipper 1’, we moored both craft upstream of the bridges before motoring through. Our entertainment for this bridge-transit was hearing the strident advice ‘C’ gave some tourists regarding their mooring technique…

Such amusements aside, once again we slipped off on a broad reach with Bill helming, whilst I busily prepared lunch (beef/mustard sandwiches).

At the confluence of the Bure & Thurne – ‘Corsair’ spent a minute or two before ‘F’ joined us. There followed an idyllic sail up river to Horning, following wind, sunshine, bliss!

Nina & Billy were both v.impressed with St Benet’s abbey, we delighted in all the ghost stories (some just for their benefit) as we passed.

Until Horning, things were peaceful, then the usual melee of day boats, tour boats, hire boats, swans, fisherman & miscellaneous craft provided a hair-raising sail for both boats!

(Scenes of ‘The art of coarse sailing’ – aiming for a point 4ft ahead of the stem of a tour boat raises the pulse!!!)

Once moored outside HSC – we returned to the mainland for a restorative ice-cream. Honestly, we looked like a bloody postcard scene! After some more posing, it was a short, if challenging sail downwind to Salhouse Broad. This section is pretty, but very tricky to sail with such heavily wooded banks.

Exhausted by our impressive mileage today, not one of us ventured upto the ‘Fur & Feathers’ in the evening (we’re all ‘kin knackered) Instead, the playground, woods & 3-hour walk to the toilets occupied us until our respective sleeping pits were found.

Night!

2011 Cruise – Day 3

We woke slowly (for some reason), with mist lazily rising from the water. I set to the duties of tea-making for the crew. Some of them were more ‘perky’ than others the Skipper notes… (!)

A brief quant later, both vessels were moving quite nicely onto the Thurne, with ‘F’ sporting her new, oversize Cornish ensign. Several infuriating windshifts later, we had tacked our way into Potter, and temporarily moored alongside a Richardson’s bathtub.

This gave us a brief refuge to catch our breath, before we all piled into ‘F’ through the bridges, Haiwaii 5-0 style!

Unfortunately, during this manuevre ‘Corsair’ was struck (hard) by an incredibly unpleasant, brain-dead knuckle dragging dickhead who piloted a hire cruiser with about as much aplomb as a wrecking ball. Fruitless discussion with them left negoiations in the hands of the hire yard & myself. Even now, as I write this I remember what a complete & utter person of questionable parentage he was…

However, ice creams, quiche & a quick cuppa soon removed such issues from our minds, and we set off on our voyage to Hickling. Unusually, with no sea breeze, light airs continued, allowing Nina to helm, with Mr B & Billy crewing.

Why let a glorious day with friends get in the way of a petty tacking duel though?! Once on Heigham Sounds we set about with a sweet-looking ‘F’, swapping tacks & exchanging insults as we progressed up past Deep-go-Dyke.

Once on the broad itself, the sea breeze did appear (finally!) & allowed us some decent long tacks with Mr B helping the jib over. Keeping pace with ‘Corsair’ though was a very sprightly dinghy – known as a bugle – it looked nippy!

We moored on the staithe (expertly helmed by Billy) – and all set about cleaning/smartening ‘Corsair’ in advance of ‘E’ arriving.

So, finishing early – I can only note that I am sat in the blazing sunshine, listening again to a live-band, feeling totally content.

Night.